Ive thought on this for so long
You can’t run intermission for the whole show
But you did, and you will, as long as you can
And it’s not fair, because now I don’t know how to talk to people
And I am afraid of every interaction
Some violent kind of solitude, it had to happen, but not like this

Because I never learned a thing, that you didn’t want me to hear
And it took so many years for me to learn all I needed to know about myself
And no I will never resent her, but I can’t say the same for you
In isolation, I learned all I needed about those “friends”
And the “god” that was supposed answer, well I never heard a word back
And as I try to understand the memories, of clothes I wasn’t supposed to wear
Of feelings I wasn’t supposed to have, of sadness without an answer
It all starts to make sense and I learn to understand

Was it ever normal? Was I ever normal?
I used to always imagine bad things happening to me
Just for a little bit of sympathy
I needed I needed
For you
To pay attention to me
I didn’t wanna spend the night anymore

I am trying my damndest to rationalize
I want so badly to make you proud no matter what
Even if you won’t accept me Even if you try to bend me
Even if you’re responsible for some of this
I still want you to say “I love you”