It’s a phone call that I know is coming
But it doesn’t make it any less scary
You’re telling me I shouldn’t worry
But of course I will, I will
Because I know you’re getting help
And I know that you are safe but I can’t help but worry
Because I know this isn’t really what you wanted

You said “can I get a few things”
I said “anything you need”
With a shake in my step I walked up to the desk
Said I was here to see you, used your full name
Something you never really liked

I walk in, there you are
You look okay you look okay
And I don’t fit in here, cuz I’ve got shoelaces
And the reason is not something that we like to think about
You tell me not to worry but I will, because I always do

And every nurse that comes into my work
I think they’re there to tell me that you’re gone
And every time that my phone vibrates
I think it’s someone telling me you’re gone
And I’ll get lost in my head as I do the fucking dishes
Just like fucking always no one cares

And I’ll get high so I don’t have to think
I can do this all week
And my stomach hurts every night
I just need to know you’re okay
I will look after tulip for you,
Until you return, which I need to be soon

What did you lose down in Lancaster?
Can we find it again?
What did you lose in centralia?
Can we go back there and find it?